Another man-basher joke from Ernie! I mean Ernie how could you! 😉
From Ilya:
I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don’t know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere if they don’t get it.
— Mark Twain
Mark Twain is awesome 🙂
A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood here, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, there, Your Darkness,” he said. “I ‘m waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn’t help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?”
“Ah,” Satan said with a grin. “Those are the Irish. I’m letting them dry out so they’ll burn.”
What do you call two straight days of rain in Ireland ? A weekend.
It only rains twice a year in Ireland : August through April and May through July.
What’s the definition of an Irish optimist? A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.
“I can ‘t believe it,” said the tourist. “I’ve been here an entire week and it ‘s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?”
“Well, that’ s hard to say,” replied the local. “Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”