Tag: usa

Categories
american kids money old politics

Washington …

From Dora:

A little boy wanted $100..00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to:

God, USA

They decided to send it to the President.

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy …

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C. and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes.

Categories
american politics school

George Bush vs. Elementary Children

This one’s from Ernie, he sure does like his political jokes:

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
“Stanley,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Stanley?”
“I have 4 questions:

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?”
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don’t have health insurance?

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time. Who has a question?”
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
“Actually, I have 6 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don’t have health insurance?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?”

Categories
american british english

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

And another from Norm. I’ve seen this one a few times before, and it’s not by John Cleese, someone, somewhere, just added his name to this to make it funnier. However, it actually is kinda funny, and highlights some of the differences (and imaginary differences) between the US and the UK. Well here it is in all of it’s original glory! 🙂

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
A Message from John Cleese, British comedian to the citizens of the United States of America.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary.

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