Tag: tv

“Hollywood Squares”…

From Ernie!

These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

Tags charley weaver, cosmopolitian, don knotts, ernie, george gobel, hollywood squares, innuendo, married, paul lynde, quiz, quiz show, rose marie, sex, sexual, stranger, tv, vincent price

medicine old

AAADD

Post author By thejoker
Post date May 15, 2008
No Comments on AAADD

From Diane:

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS ….. PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I’m going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

Continue reading “AAADD”

Tags aaadd, age, Age Activated, Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention, baffled, bills, car, car keys, check book, cheque book, coke, counter, Deficit, diane, Disorder, driveway, elderly, forget, forgetfulness, garage, garden, glasses, hose, junk mail, junkmail, keys, kitchen, mail, mailbox, old, pepsi, porch, post, postbox, problem, SYMPTOMS, tv

funny scottish video

Chewing the Fat!

And some funny Scottish humour, or humor for everyone on the West side of the Atlantic! 🙂

Tags funny, lobster, scottish, television, tv, video, youtube

british english funny irish radio

TODAYS IDIOTS

And from Edel, supposedly a whole bunch of silly, wrong, or incorrect answers given by contestants on various British & Irish radio & television quiz shows.

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don’t know.
White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re..?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France ..
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris

Continue reading “TODAYS IDIOTS”

Tags edel, questions, quiz, quiz shows, radio, stupid, television, tv, weakest link

british drink english video

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar – The Complete Adventures

Post author By thejoker
Post date March 8, 2008
No Comments on Sir Digby Chicken Caesar – The Complete Adventures

From Liz! From “That Mitchell and Webb Look” and comedy show on British TV:

Tags british, Caesar, Chicken, Digby, Digby Chicken Caesar, english, mitchell, television, telly, That Mitchell and Webb Look, tv, webb

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS ….. PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I’m going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, Continue reading “AAADD”

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point. Theakston: There’s a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester .

BBC NORFOLK

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Continue reading “TODAYS IDIOTS”

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

I take my check book off the table,

Continue reading “AAADD”

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .