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funny men

Three lawyers and three engineers on a train

And the first one from Adriana:

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (recognizing the engineers’ superior intellect).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.

The train departs.

Shortly afterwards, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

Looks like this came from  http://www.bl.com/ben/things/engineers2.html

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2008/12/15/three-lawyers-and-three-engineers-on-a-train/

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american drink naked priest religion

Pastor

From Ilya:

A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender and asked,

“May I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied,

“I really don’t think you should.”

The pastor asked,

“Why not? I really need to use a restroom!”

“Well, I don’t think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there and she’s only covered by a fig leaf!”

The pastor replied,

“Nonsense, I’ll look the other way!”

So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs and he proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, he came back out and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said,

“Sir, I don’t understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. Then the room became absolutely quiet. I went to the restroom, and now the place is hopping again.”

“Well, now you’re one of us!”

said the bartender.

“Would you like a drink too?”

“But, I still don’t understand,”

said the puzzled pastor.

“You see,”

laughed the bartender,

“every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about a drink?”