religion – All those Jokes that people send me

From Ernie:

Can you imagine yourselfÂ as the nunÂ sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

PayÂ specialÂ attentionÂ to theÂ wording & spelling. IfÂ you know the bible even a little,Â you’llÂ find this hilarious! Â ItÂ comes from a Catholic ElementaryÂ school test;Â kids were asked questions about the Old & New Testaments. The following statementsÂ were written by children -Â THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE; GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY; BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH

Continue reading “A Nun Grading Papers”

Four Worms and a lesson

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation –

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

That pretty much ended the service —